Saturday, May 16, 2009
Im losing it.
8:39 PM
I screamed at her & hit her backside.
I couldnt take it anymore.
Each time she feeds, she cry like mad,
never feed also cry.
Sleep also cannot sleep properly.
I dont know what i did wrong,
and i do whatever i can to help her.
Im losing it......
Dont judge me,
im not a superman.
Its isnt easy.
Taking care of her 24/7,
who knows the days i skipped meals,
go without sleep,
no bath.
My brain isnt functioning well anymore,
i cannot remember whether i bathe her earlier or not,
im lacking of sleep.
And to you,
please remember she is our baby, not my baby.
Its not my responsibility to take care of her every single time,
i have been pushing myself,
holding back my tears.
Telling myself to be strong,
telling myself this will pass very soon.
But i cannot do this alone.
There are things i gain and lost,
there will be things you need to give up too.
Stop being selfish.
It isnt all about you anymore,
grow up.
I know there are so many things you would like to be,
but come on,
face it, she needs us.
There are lots of things im keeping inside,
im really tired.
Seriously,
i cant speak to anyone about this.
No one seems to understand,
no one seems to understand me.
No one will have the time to.
End of the day,
i never once regret having her in my life.
I love her.
But God, please make me stronger.
Make me a super mum if you can.
And to you,
please appreciate me more.
Im doing the best i can, how about you?
Blessings,
Yanwen
Labels: Breaking down again
